However, all that changing and swapping and fiddling only made one thing really clear as I progressed through the testing squares:
This was not (a) Claire anymore.
Meanwhile, even though it was announced that the next Season would be released as a complete package, people were asking for Claire, Claire, Claire.
When Claire was completely charted (thanks to my wonderful husband, to whom I am eternally grateful for giving up so much of his free time to sit on his CAD program to make these charts available), I just did not feel the love for her anymore.
She was incoherent, a patchwork of elements that did not feel connected, a puzzle gone wrong, a square without context and without proper story elements.
Claire simply did not feel alive anymore. From a designer’s point of view, this was a dead end. Or at least it felt like it was.
The only solution to cope with that is to go back to the drawing board. Start from scratch. Clean the slate, swipe the file, delete the record, chuck out the pre-occupation, conservatism and clinging to an old idea.
Take out the 4B. Be bold, be daring, be PeBa the Black Sheep!
No looking back. Start fresh. Get it together. Be open. Be receiving. Meditate on it. Make the call.
And most importantly: Make it worth the wait!
No pressure, right? (Haha!!!)